In his Second Confession Watts repeats how he didn’t think, wasn’t thinking and that some shadowy person or personage inside him “took over”. An aspect of this may be true, but only in the sense that this shadowy figure had been there all along, brooding and bitter – resentful even – throughout the marriage.
The “I just snapped” version renders the personalities and people in this crime irrelevant, and destroys all contextual links to the past, and to history and makes the crime seem random, even accidental. Is it? In effect, no calculated malice was involved.
What’s worse? A random annihilation or an annihilation rooted – in fact marinating – in a perceived injustice? I believe this was the real thing “blinding” Watts. And somehow his affair with Kessinger made this anger and outrage even sharper, even more BLINDING. As it built up in him he found himself less and less tolerant of Shan’ann [and the kids], so that he could no longer hug her, or have sex with her [except, in his version, on their final night together.]